Tips for Hosting Guests in Your Home

Listen to Chrystina share stories about and talk you through tips for hosting guests at your house in Episode 05 of the Party Ideas & Logistics with Chrystina Noel podcast, above.

Normally this seems like a blog post I would be writing from the hostess side, but I’m going to switch it up a little bit and tell you a different story today. In the past few months I’ve had a chance to visit friends all over the country, stay at a really incredible bed and breakfast, and attend some great birthday parties. I’ve learned so much about being a great hostess from being a guest.

Discuss the schedule ahead of time

As a planner, I personally believe it’s best to discuss the schedule ahead of time. Even if the schedule is going to be fluid or casual or whatever-happens-happens, it’s always better to discuss the schedule ahead of time. A plan to not have a plan is best when agreed to by both parties. Which I only say because some of my best friends are spontaneous people – you know, those people who have a “P” in their Myers Briggs personality type – and so sometimes our travel styles and life styles clash a little bit.

Another way that you can do it, if it’s a multi-day trip is to discuss the schedule for the next day the night before. That way you don’t need to commit too far in advance, but you can at least understand when everyone will be coming and going throughout the day (especially if it’s a work day for the host or hostess).

That said, I also really appreciated when I went to visit friends in Chicago recently who have two kids and the plan was, “how about you get here at 9:00am and then we’ll decide what we’re going to do that day?” This was a great combination of we’re going to choose something you want to do and we’re going to play the day by ear to see how the kids are feeling, what the weather is, and how we’re all feeling.

If absolutely nothing else, make sure to ask for / share your arrival date and mode of transportation and your departure date and mode of transportation, the rest of the stuff is way less important.

Give your guest some space (literally)

If I’m traveling to visit friends who are single, the plan of action is usually to share a bed, take a corner of their room for my stuff, and follow a pretty similar schedule. This is what travel looked like all through college and the beginning of adulthood.

If I’m traveling to visit friends who are living with their significant other, the plan changes a little bit since that other side of the bed is already taken. In cases like this, I’ve been lucky enough to be offered spaces of my own inside of my friend’s houses – whether it’s a couch with easy access to a bathroom, a guest room, or even a mother-in-law apartment.

To be honest, I’m pretty nostalgic for the first type of travel these days. It’s actually my preferred way to travel because those are the moments that feel like a mini slumber party where you can share stories until really late and really find out how life is going. But since this growing up thing has started and that’s not quite as possible anymore the second best option has been to get a space of my own where I can spread out my stuff, feel settled in, and recharge on my own a bit.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I 100% understand this isn’t always possible. As a girl living in an 800 sqft house separated into 4 floors, it gets a little bit tricky – especially when I had an apartment-mate (you know, like a roommate, but they have their own room). Even in cases like this I always tried to block off certain spaces, let them know my schedule ahead of time, and let them know where all the things they might need are.

Take some time to decompress

This is a tip for the guests more than the hosts.

Admittedly, I learned this tip when I hosted my friend Taylor a year-or-so ago. At the end of a long day she would say that she was ready to call it a night and she went and decompressed in her room until the next day. I thought it was awesome.

Then, when I went to Louisiana a few months back, I tried it out. I called it a night a little bit earlier and one of my hosts made a comment that was something like wow, we don’t need to entertain you the whole night? That’s awesome. (In that honest way that only a pretty tipsy person can do while still sounding genuine.) And I realized I wasn’t the only one who felt that it was a nice break from needing to be ‘on’ the whole time you’re hosting.

Put your guest’s needs first

I’m constantly amazed every time I go to Louisiana how thoughtful everyone is. It could be that southern hospitality thing, but I like to think us northerners could do it if you gave us a chance. My hosts and hostesses have bent over backwards to help me coordinate rides, pick me up from airports, drive me all over town to visit other friends, and offer suggestions on how to fill my day.

There are definitely times when I host that I feel like it’s a burden. Those are always after the really long weeks when I haven’t had any time to myself and I find that when I get over tired I make selfish comments that aren’t necessary.

I remember one time in college when I was hosting an a cappella group at my house (because sometimes that happens in college…) and there was an after party that everyone wanted to go to and I made a comment that was something along the lines of, “I’m going to head out early, do you think you guys are okay getting back alone?” And they all said yes. But I remember feeling really crummy about it. I couldn’t take one night out of my life to make sure that these guys had an awesome time in Philadelphia? How selfish could I be? Also, why did I even volunteer if I wasn’t going to give it my all?

When you commit to being a host or hostess you’re committing to putting your guests needs first. Of course there are exceptions if they’re really long-time friends, or guests who really just needed a place to stay, or guests that showed up unexpectedly, but even then I’ve found that it’s always better to put on a happy face and keep the givers mentality.

And that’s what I’m always reminded of on these trips to Louisiana. My hosts and hostesses are always so kind and accommodating, it really is an extra boost of energy and inspiration to keep doing the same. Thanks for always being inspiring, folks.

Think about what your guests needs

This is different than the last one. I always feel super duper taken care of when a host or hostess asks questions about my accommodations. Is it hot enough in there? Is it cold enough in there? Do you have enough blankets? Would you like a glass of water to take to bed? Are you going to want to shower? It always makes me feel like I’m being taken care of.

And then of course there’s that other level of of thinking, the “just-make-yourself-at-home” approach. But if you’re going to do that, make sure you empower people to be able to do that. Show them where the water is, where the glasses are, where they can find the tea, where the extra blankets are, and where the towels are.

Admittedly, I always feel most at home when given a key to the place I’m staying, then I know that I’m free to come and go as I please. The host or hostess should explain the protocol for coming and going, how many locks need to be locked, will it lock behind you when you leave, is there a code to get in the front door, etc. And as the guest, it’s your responsibility to make sure to treat everything like it’s your own (if not better) and triple check that the door is locked when you’re coming and going. (and probably ask all those other questions if the host doesn’t offer up that information).

Help your guests figure out what they would like to do

As a guest, I always appreciate being asked what I’d like to do while I’m there. It also always helps when the host or hostess can offer a few suggestions, especially when it’s a city I haven’t been to before. What types of things do they like to do? What types of things do they like to do in their own city?

Now of course there are all the touristy things. And if you’re hosting guests in Paris, you should probably make sure your friends see the Eiffel Tower at least once before they leave. But visiting a city is so much more than visiting the tourist attractions. Out-of-towners may not know about all of the cute little hole-in-the-wall places or what the city is really known for, so it’s nice to be able to get an insider’s perspective.

Personally, my favorite things to do as a guest are things that my host and hostess have always wanted to do in their own city, but have been looking for an excuse to do it. That way I feel like I’m not burdening the hostess and we usually get to do something really fun. (Like spend the day at the pool drinking cocktails.)

Think about meal planning ahead of time (it will help avoid hanger and breaking the bank)

And of course, I couldn’t get through an entire post about being a host or hostess without mentioning food. Traveling can be really expensive. Between taxis, public transportation, ubers, flights, and rental cars, trips can be really expensive, so it’s always really nice to have a meal or two at home on the trip. It keeps the cost down and gives the host and guest a chance to bond over cooking a meal.

(It also gives you a chance to ask your friends from Louisiana to share their best red beans and rice recipe with you. That said, we’ll save that post for another day when I actually try making it.)

In an ideal world I would always try to make something in a crock pot so that we could have multiple meals throughout the course of my guest’s stay, and I always try to have breakfast on hand so that if they get up before I do and they’re hungry they can go ahead and eat. Admittedly, that doesn’t always happen, but it’s a nice thought.

When I stayed with my friend Cate recently she put together an awesome breakfast casserole made out of the food that was already in her fridge. I’m super excited to do a blog post about that next. I hope to one day be able to be that person who is confident enough in her own cooking efforts to just throw things together (and have it turn out delicious), but for now I’ll have to stick to recipes.

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I have some really great friends to have been able to learn all of these tips from my own hosts and hostesses and I’m excited to keep using these tips to host others in the future.

What are some things that your hosts and hostesses have done that have made you feel right at home? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below!